it's never over.

I am not disappearing. I've been here, at my home, all summer. I've been doing what I like to do, and working. I don't want to do anything on the weekends, I don't want to hang out in the evening. I don't want to watch movies. If I wanted to watch movies, I'd do it at home, I do do it at home. I don't have to waste money or gas, coming up town to do nothing but watch movies. I know it's not just about the movie, but about spending time together, which is something I can't seem to bring myself to do, or do well. I know I'm part of your life, but I can't be there every weekend or for every "hang out time" you set aside. And I know that I really haven't been there for either of those things, at all. I like being at home, and I like being by myself. The truth is, I just don't really want to do anything. I should, but I don't. I like it that way. So what if I never said anything about taking a trip with Leah and Paul? I shouldn't have to. Leah and Paul are my friends too, and I don't tell them everything I do with you guys. It's really not that big of a deal. I don't think anyone should complain that we never speak anymore, I'm obviously not that bothered by it yet because i'm still pulling the "i'm home and don't want to see anyone, I saw you everyday at school." But doesn't it say something when you don't even attempt to communicate with me when you're the one saying we need to talk more? I just don't know what to do anymore.